It might have been, wait for it, my mother’s fault! My mother was, at once, the most delightful, engaging, loving woman and the most ruthless, dominating she-wolf you could ever meet. Learning the rules of engagement was vital, and I got to watch as my father tried but constantly failed to do this. As the two people I loved most in the world emotionally ripped each other apart, night after night, I moved from being anguished to mesmerized. What was this desperate drama all about? How did it work? As a six year old, sitting on the stairs in the dark, listening to the fights, I wanted to figure it out. I announced this to my granny who laughed and told me that no one had ever figured love out. So, of course, I decided I had to do it! (more…)
Tags: attachment theory, bonding, bonds, Bowlby, brain, connectetion, conversations, dance, delightful, drinking, engaging, fail, families, fight, figure out, happiness, heart ache, help, hold me tight, hope, impact, intervention, learning, Love, love secret, love sense, lovers, loving, moments, positive, precious, problems, pub, relationship, revolution, ripped, rules, understand
A quiet revolution has happened over the last 15 years – a revolution that we all need to know about. A revolution that – at last- makes sense of romantic love.
Tags: anxiety, anxious, attachment, balance, bonding, bonds, brain, connection, conversations, couples, distress, distressed, EFT, emotional, Emotionally Focussed Couples Therapy, Emotionally Focussed Therapy, feelings, help, Love, loved, loving, map, neuroscience, painful, partner, precious, relationship, repair, revolution romantic, safe, science, secure, security, soothes, soothing, strong, study, therapy, touch, understand, vulnerable