Any researcher knows that, if you aspire to be an ‘objective’ scientist, you are not allowed to be passionately impressed by your own research. I am now going to break that rule. (more…)
“Love Sense” draws on biology, neuroscience, and clinical psychology, delving into the chemistry of love, including the function of the hormone oxytocin ……… there is much in “Love Sense” that any couple who has ever felt out of tune will relate to, and good advice for building harmony for the long haul.
For full review please go to http://on.wsj.com/1gCBH20
From the Wall Street Journal, January 13, 2014
Tags: attachment, bonds, brain, connection, couple, couples, EFT, emotion, emotionally focused therapy, family, fight, happy, Love, marriage, relationship, research, science, study, therapist, therapy
There are only so many dances in a love relationship.
The happier we are, the more fluid and varied the dance with our partner is. We feel safe together so we improvise and play.
But do you notice that, when we fight, the dance is always the same? It is narrow – small – not many moves. We feel like we have no options. The negative pattern takes over the relationship.
Tags: abandoned, advice, attachment, bored, conflict, connect, couples, couples therapy, dissatisfaction, EFT, emotional, emotionally, emotionally focused couple therapy, emotionally focused therapy, feelings, fight, forgiveness, help, hurt, lonely, Love, loved, loving, marriage, pain, painful, partner, pattern, psychology, rejected, rejection, relationship, relationship education, repair, safe, secure, security, sex, sexual, stress, stuck, therapist, therapy, trust, understand, vulnerability, vulnerable
A song just gets to you. You find yourself humming it as you drive or make the coffee. “Say Something I’m giving up on you” by A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera has taken over my brain.
Tags: attachment, bond, caught, couple therapist, couple therapy, dangers, despair, disconnection, distancing, divorce, emotion, feelings, fight, help, helplessness, impact, isolation, lonely, Love, partner, prison, reaching, rejection, Relationships, response, risk, sad, safety, solution, therapist, withdrawal
It might have been, wait for it, my mother’s fault! My mother was, at once, the most delightful, engaging, loving woman and the most ruthless, dominating she-wolf you could ever meet. Learning the rules of engagement was vital, and I got to watch as my father tried but constantly failed to do this. As the two people I loved most in the world emotionally ripped each other apart, night after night, I moved from being anguished to mesmerized. What was this desperate drama all about? How did it work? As a six year old, sitting on the stairs in the dark, listening to the fights, I wanted to figure it out. I announced this to my granny who laughed and told me that no one had ever figured love out. So, of course, I decided I had to do it! (more…)
Tags: attachment theory, bonding, bonds, Bowlby, brain, connectetion, conversations, dance, delightful, drinking, engaging, fail, families, fight, figure out, happiness, heart ache, help, hold me tight, hope, impact, intervention, learning, Love, love secret, love sense, lovers, loving, moments, positive, precious, problems, pub, relationship, revolution, ripped, rules, understand
Fights are the times when our relationships with those we love come into sharp focus and hit us right between the eyes, so to speak. They are not fun! And lots of couples seek help simply to stop escalating the arguments. So when couples argue, what works and what doesn’t work? (more…)
Tags: alone, argue, arguments, brain, communication, conversation, couples, criticism, danger, divorce, emotions, escalating, failure, fight, fight fair, fighting, happy couples fight, heal, healthy, help, hold me tight, Love, marriage, negative, normal, okay to fight, pain, partner, physical, protect, relationship, rift, rules, scared, signals, stop, struggle, threatened, threats, time out, upsetting, war, win, wounds
The stock market is falling; mysterious codes called Nasdaq and Dow Jones are now at some record low. What does this mean for families, for couple relationships? (more…)
Tags: angry, anxiety, bonds, calm, complain, conflict, connection, couple, courage, create, danger, distancing, emotional, families, fight, financial, frustration, happy, hope, hormone, investment, irritability, job loss, lasting, long hours, Love, manage, market, marriage, military, money, mysterious, outbursts, oxytocin, pain, poverty, reassuring, recover, relationship, respond, salary cut, save, secure, source, stock market, stress, stronger, trigger